It's been a while!!

Well clearly a lot has happened since my last post!! Most importantly baby no. 3 made her arrival August, 2011!! Hadli Chase has brought lots of pink and frills into our boy filled world!! Along with Hadli came my new role as stay at home mommy!! Yikes, she will b two in a little more than a month and I still haven't mastered this role yet! It is much more challenging than employment law, mass torts & any trial I ever prepared for!! Rewarding but difficult!! When we found out we were expecting number 3 lots of "large family" friends tried to reassure us by saying adding number 3 to the mix will b no more difficult than going from 1 baby to 2!! Well let me just tell you these people are liars!! We love them but they LIED! Three children ranging in age from newborn to 4 yrs old is absolute insanity inducing chaos! Do not let anyone tell you different!! We are blessed to have three beautiful healthy bright children but we are crazy!! Crazy tired, crazy stressed, crazy overwhelmed but crazy in love with all of our crazy blessings!!

25 weeks down 15 to do

SO I don’t remember being this exhausted the last time I was pregnant. I haven’t had as many complications as I did with Jackson and Cooper but WHOA I could use a nap, a nanny, a maid, etc.! SO far I’ve only gained 7 lbs but it feels (and looks) like forty!! It is crazy hot already. My children have to wear winter footy pajamas at night so I don’t freeze them out of the house.

Here is hoping it is more like 12 weeks to go!!

half way there

Twenty weeks left and I was able to convince Travis to find out what we're having. Jackson and Cooper will have a little sister this August! Lord help us. We don't know what to do with girls!!

19 weeks down 21 to go!!

So the countdown has begun. Baby # 3 will be here in August (hopefully early August)!! Right now I am still trying to convince Travis to find out what we are having, I am scheduled to go next week and he’s being stubborn but I’m still trying to win this one. I am going to pull a Grey’s Anatomy and say I get three votes on this one – you fans will know what I’m talking about it!! Seriously, I have acid reflux round the clock, morning (all day long) sickness still not mention all the other horrid things that come with being pregnant --I’ve earned the right know “what” is causing me such discomfort and emotional distress!! Jackson understands that there is a baby in my belly and regularly has me open my mouth so he can look down my throat to see if the baby is “ready” yet!! He also believes that Jesus needs a spanking for putting the baby in my belly. He is a bit distressed about what we plan to do with Cooper once the new baby is “ready”. I’m not sure why he thinks we must do away with Cooper in order to have another baby. My guess is he’s wondering where the heck we are going to put another person and all the crap that comes along with them. (let’s be serious aren’t we all wondering) so the only option in his mind is someone must go and that must be Cooper since he’s the newbie of the clan. Cooper doesn’t really understand what is happening and it is best that he just be surprised because any warning that he will no longer be the littlest/newest member for whom all of our worlds stop might cause severe trauma that I am not equipped to handle just yet. He is a momma’s baby and it is going to be U-G-L-Y!! That’s all for now!!

11 Lessons to Learn for Those Thinking of Having Children

THIS IS TOO FUNNY NOT TO POST!!

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive) Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.2
. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side
.3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

BAH HUMBUG

WELL, my Christmas Tree lasted all of four days. I had to take her down last night and box her up (know that I wanted to set her on fire so boxing her up was much kinder.) Four times between 5:15 and 6:00 I had to pick her up off the floor and stand her back up (this is no easy task-she is 5 ft around at the bottom and 8 ft tall.) The first time I believe was an accident (however, they had no business doing whatever it was they were doing) the next three times were intentional. Once they realized they could knock her over they just kept doing it. Since I do not have a Xanax salt lick this move was absolutely necessary!! I do have a 3 foot tabletop tree that I will pull out and somehow hang from the ceiling to keep them from picking her up and throwing her at each other or using her as some sort of weapon. So for now we are treeless and I’m okay with that. Judge me if you like - I do not care!!

AND if one more person tells me “things will get better”, “cherish these days you will miss them one day” or” they aren’t little forever” I may set myself on fire or have myself voluntarily committed.

At least I got the christmas pics taken before I had to box her up!! I have not intentions of pulling her out again until 2015!!

Merry “Treeless” Christmas

So once upon a time, long ago and far away I always thought it would be fun and magical to have children especially during the Christmas season; well my boys have knocked this fantasy right out of me and are snickering in the corner because I ever thought it possible. Really don’t we all want the Hallmark Movie Channel Family Christmas??? Well, mine are more like Griswold Family Christmas. I stayed up late Friday night putting the humungous artificial tree up; I went ahead and put the lights on so I could take pictures of the boys “decorating” the tree Saturday morning. The plan was to really decorate once daddy got home from work on Saturday. Why is it that I refuse to accept that I am no longer aloud to make plans?? Any who, so after breakfast we changed into our super cute Christmas outfits that mother made for the boys and began (note: this is the second attempt at Christmas pics-first time was at mothers-NOT GOOD) so after an hour and a half, lots of tears and three broken ornaments later I gave up. Here are a few of the good takes.


I think once we get closer to Christmas and all the festivities begin I will feel better about the holidays but right now it is just a lot of unnecessary crazy!! Like I don’t already say no, stop and don’t enough!! Now I have a giant tree in the living room teasing my children and begging for trouble—I hear it calling their names and they can’t resist. The lights have already been pulled out and shoved back in there like I wouldn’t notice and all the ornaments that I felt safe putting on the tree are now just at the top so there is nothing attractive about this tree maybe it knows it’s unattractive and that is why it is taunting the boys??

CUTENESS

So Jackson is pretty chatty especially at bed time the other night I was tucking him in and laying with him trying to convince him to shut his eyes and his mouth below is the conversation that took place after we said our prayers:

Jackson-Momma, I love you!
ME-I love you too Jackson!
Jackson-I love daddy!
Me-I love daddy too!
Jackson-No you don’t! You can’t or you would have a map to the ocean!
Pause for laughter
Me-Do you have a map to the ocean??
Jackson-I do, there are sheshells, wish(fish), whales and sharks. I don’t like sharks.
Me-I don’t like sharks either!
Jackson-Me eiter!
Jackson-You my favorite Kristy!!
Me-You are my favorite Jackson!

Last night I asked Jackson who pulled on the Christmas lights and he said Cooper (Cooper was asleep and had been asleep for at least an hour) so I then asked Jackson if he was telling me a story (lying) and he proceeded to tell me the story of the Goldilocks and the three bears???

JESUS, SANTA AND THE ELF ON THE SHELF

Don’t be confused-I am in no way trying to imply that Jesus is in any way similar to the others listed above. Understand this is all coming from the mind of a 3 year old. We tell him Santa is watching so you better behave, we must be sweet to our little brother because it makes Jesus sad when we are ugly to others. Now Jackson is asking about the Elf on the Shelf. He saw one at Aba’s (Ava’s) the other night and he has asked a few times about it so I was explaining that “Fred” Aba’s Elf hides and watches and reports to Santa. Well this just baffles him and he wants to know why, where is he hiding, where is Santa and why can’t he see him and is Jesus hiding too?? Then the next questions are how will Santa get in the door? it is locked? and the gate is up? etc. etc. So each night at bedtime his little mind is in over drive trying to come up with good questions to keep him from having to go to bed so after what seemed like hours of questions the other night I finally tell him “enough, go to sleep I am not going to sit in here anymore if you keep on talking“--his response to that is “please momma don’t leave me in here alone with Jesus.” Of everyone hiding and watching why has he decided Jesus is the most frightening?? Seriously, a strange little man with crazy ears wearing tights is hiding on the shelf and a fat man wearing a red suit is breaking into peoples houses leaving toys and taking cookies and Jesus is who concerns him?? This is something we must work on!!

That’s all for now!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!