OVERWHLEMED

So...i haven't had much time to post here and i do have tons of pictures that i keep promising to upload-one day-hopefully soon that will actually happen.

I had to take a few minutes to blog about my morning. I got up extra early in order to make certain that I had enough time for
a)both of my boys to procrastinate
b)Jackson to take extra potty breaks
c) Jackson to have time to fall down and dust off; and
d) so I would not have to speed on the way to the sitters

This worked out really well, we were ahead of schedule and getting ready to load up when I realize my keys are MIA--no where to be found. I looked in all of Jackson's usual hiding places, dumped my purse and both bags out, finally found them in the kitchen drawer-WOW!!

During my frantic run around the house searching for the keys Jackson decides it is the perfect time to rearrange the living room-he pushes the couch back up against the wall revealing all sorts of hidden treasures, one of which is an orange crayon which Cooper falls madly in love with, needless to say the child's face and hands are ORANGE. I pry the frickin crayon out of Cooper's hands, scoop him up and throw him on my hip as I continue running through the house calling for the keys, I find the keys & turn to tell Jackson to load up and see him slam the giant plastic bouncy ball into the floor and watch it as it collides with the the glass globe in the dinning room!! YES IT SHATTERED INTO A MILLION PIECES. REALLY?? somehow we all manage to survive with all of our eyes intact and no one bleeding and out the door we run. Jackson, as always, wasn't paying attention and fell face first on the way to the truck-he's fine!! We all made it to where we were suppose to be ON TIME!! How?? I do not know but it all worked out and Travis cleaned up the mess from the broken globe!!!

IS IT BEDTIME YET??

SO FAR SO GOOD-I think!!

This is week 2 of me working part-time. I have not killed anyone or myself yet so things are going pretty well. That is not to say that I haven’t thought about it.

So far since this started:
• Jackson got mad and peed on the floor, once last week and once this week;
• Cooper busted his lip-TWICE;
• laundry seems to never be caught up;
• kitchen is a never ending task;
• when I lose my patience I try to hide in the bathroom until I can get it together;
• Jackson has decided he doesn’t need to nap which means mommy hides in the bathroom seeking patience more often than she should;
• the boys sleep until 7:00/7:30 which means I can either have alone time or sleep late;
• we have had a play date at the park with Madi;
• we go to the walking park regularly and Jackson is fairly well behaved;
• daddy comes home to dinner on the table rather than having to wait for me to get there to cook;
• No naps for Jackson=fairly early bedtime with no fuss
AND
• Next week we are planning a trip to the zoo!!

It is still too soon to tell but we may survive this and actually end up enjoying it. Now I just need to get brave enough to take them both to Jackson alone to catch up with our out of town friends.

10 Random Things

1. I believe in the power of prayer and spend more time in prayer each day than I do anything else.

2. I love living close to my family but not so close that they are in my business-far enough away that I have to hop in the car but close enough that I don’t have to wait long if I need them.

3. My husband is my best friend and has been for more than 10 years. He is the first person I want to talk to when something good, bad, scary, funny, etc. happens.

4. I have no pets and I want no pets. I’m certain that one day the boys will want a dog or something and I absolutely dread it.

5. I love love love to exercise but have been horrible about making the time to do it regularly since Jackson was born.

6. I love watching Jackson figure things out. He is so much like his daddy.

7. I love reading my favorite books over and over at least once each year.

8. I love the Office. It is my guilty pleasure.

9. I have an incredibly high tolerance for pain that is countered by an incredible fear of it. The anxiety worrying over the pain is much worse for me than the actual pain.

10. There were a few times last week when I thought I would rather pay someone my entire full time salary to stay at my house with my kids than stay home with them myself. (isn’t that terrible?? And yes I do feel guilty for feeling that way)

RANDOM WORRIES

Today was Jackson's first day at the sitter. We love Miss Kim. She has always been so good to Jackson she loves him like he's her own and I know that when he is there I have nothing to worry about. BUT those of you who know me well know that I WORRY whether it is justified or not it is what I do. I am not worried about how Jackson's day will be with Kim I am worried about how Jackson's day will be without daycare. Will he miss his friends, will he wonder why he is not at school (even though i tried my best to explain), will he miss the play time and stories, will he remember his friends, will it make me sad to see how excited he is to see them when we run into them in Wal-Mart. Random I know but still things I worry about and yes I know worrying is pointless and a waste of time but...don't judge me, this is something I really struggle with. I know that pulling Jackson from daycare is what is best for Cooper but I can't help but be concerned that it will make things harder for Jax when it is time to return.

BEFORE 7a.m.

FIRST THING
So I wake up between 4:30 and 4:45-I like the snooze button what can I say.
Pray I do not wake the boys, get a shower, pray I do not wake the boys, start a load of laundry, pray I do not wake the boys, clean the kitchen/dishes/bottles/sweep/boil water/whatever did not get done before I passed out the night before, pray I do not wake the boys.

5:30ish
hear Cooper stirring around, pray he doesn’t wake Jackson, fix Cooper a bottle, change his diaper and get him dressed while he takes his bottle, pray he doesn’t wake Jackson , put Cooper down to play and “talk” while I put on make up and dry my hair and wait for Jackson to hear all this commotion and wake up on his own,

6:00ish
take Jackson to the potty, fix Jackson a cup of “chocolate no milk,” PRAY ALL THIS NOISE WILL WAKE TRAVIS UP, wash Jackson’s face, move Cooper out of the way, get Jackson dressed, explain to Cooper that it is Jackson’s turn and move him out of the way again, give Jackson his vitamins and explain to him that he can not eat the entire bottle at once and that it is not candy or prizes, help Jackson brush his teeth while Cooper sneaks into my bedroom and smacks Travis in the face and screams da da, quietly laugh and listen to Travis fuss about all the noise

6:30ish
Hear Travis start the shower and pray that all that I have done this morning has not used up all the hot water, listen for him to start screaming, finish getting myself ready, get everyone’s things together, check Cooper’s bag to make sure it has everything, give Jackson stars for his behavior chart, find something to entertain them in their room so I can load the car and make sure all the car seats are in the right place. Find Travis’ wallet, keys, sunglasses, etc. and put them all on the kitchen counter so he can find them. Fix myself a cup of coffee and throw a yogurt in my purse to have at work.

HOPEFULLY BY 7:00
Load every one up and leave the house! Drop everyone off.

7:30ish
In the car alone!! LIE and tell myself tomorrow will be better b/c tonight I will do everything before I go to bed no matter how tired I am and I will not feel as rushed as I did this morning.

Patience

Proverbs 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”

In an effort to “build” up and gain a little order and peace in my home I have decided to look at myself and see what I need to work on personally. I have been really studying up on patience because I have none therefore, I need to do my homework in order to fully understand what it is I seek and how to capture it. Patience takes faith and practice. I’m not much on biting my tongue or taking a deep breath and counting to ten before reacting but I am working on it. This is one of my new favorite quotes and it is really helping me embrace this character flaw of mine “few of us do patience well and none of us do it naturally.” SO I am not alone with this – WHEW!! It takes work but as all things that do take work it will be worth it. BECAUSE:

1. Patience stops problems in their tracks--praying it will stop or at least slow down my 2 year old;

2. Patience fosters peace and quiet--I love quiet;

3. Patience demonstrates love-one can never show too much love;

4. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm (a/k/a temper tantrums);

5. Patience brings rewards-we call rewards prizes in my house-we like prizes; AND

6. Practicing patience teaches patience.

What I’ve learned is we aren’t born with patience we work for patience and we are rewarded. I am trying to raise good boys who will one day be great men, loving husbands & wonderful fathers. In my quest for patience my biggest hope is that they will learn from my patience and be slow to respond with love, peace, knowledge and wisdom rather than to quickly react and later regret it.

1 WEEK

Only 1 more week full time and I am overwhelmed. I have so much to do at work in order to get ready to be there fewer hours and so much to do at home in order to get ready to be there more. Just thinking of what all I have to do makes me want to put my head down for a bit but that is not very productive.

A few new pics of the boys playing outside.

A couple of Saturdays ago we spent some time with Madi and Dana (first time in FOREVER) we exchanged Christmas gifts – that is how long it has been. We had a blast. The kids were C-R-A-Z-Y but that is not unusual. Here are few of the pics I managed to get. Hopefully we can do it again VERY SOON!!

Notice the slobber on Jackson’s shirt-yes he still drools and should probably still be wearing a bib!!

Time changes this next weekend and I am so excited. I love the longer days, I am sure I will change my mind once I trapped home with two balls of energy all day.

REALLY???

I day dream/worry A LOT especially at night after my children go to sleep and I have finished with the daily chores (ha! Who am I kidding when are the daily chores ever finished)!! I like to blame it on my self diagnosed ADHD. Anything my husband says after 9:00 p.m. I do not hear. I have gotten pretty good over the years in making him believe I am always listening but in reality I only hear about half of what he has said. This gets me in trouble from time to time. Since I never heard what he said he may as well have not said it. Later when I am questioned about what I think or if I remember what “we” talked about last night-I’m clueless. This brings me to the Lexus and the Play Station 3. Apparently, in my nodding and smiling and responding with uh huh, yeah, we’ll see, I’ll thinking about, I unknowingly agreed to consider purchasing these two items. Yes we are thinking of trading in my car for a “new to me” vehicle but a LEXUS. Please-new or used I don’t want to spend that kind of money right now. End of discussion. Now to the Play Station, REALLY?? As if there isn’t enough SEC, Nascar and UFC interrupting what little peace and quiet my house sees he wants to bring in a game console. This might would fly if the boys were old enough to participate and play with this but I just can’t wrap my head around this purchase--especially since the majority of my time is spent scrubbing, folding, sweeping, mopping, washing, NOT sitting, watching, playing, screaming at the television, asking “why aren’t the jeans I want to wear clean?”, “are you ever gonna finish with the dishes?” followed up with “why don’t you sit down and watch t.v. with me??”

Please, don’t get me wrong, my husband is wonderful to me, he is my best friend and is the BEST father/daddy to our boys and I am blessed to have such an amazing man in my life BUT COME ON NOW!!