Monday, May 16, 2011

25 weeks down 15 to do

SO I don’t remember being this exhausted the last time I was pregnant. I haven’t had as many complications as I did with Jackson and Cooper but WHOA I could use a nap, a nanny, a maid, etc.! SO far I’ve only gained 7 lbs but it feels (and looks) like forty!! It is crazy hot already. My children have to wear winter footy pajamas at night so I don’t freeze them out of the house.

Here is hoping it is more like 12 weeks to go!!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

half way there

Twenty weeks left and I was able to convince Travis to find out what we're having. Jackson and Cooper will have a little sister this August! Lord help us. We don't know what to do with girls!!

Friday, April 1, 2011

19 weeks down 21 to go!!

So the countdown has begun. Baby # 3 will be here in August (hopefully early August)!! Right now I am still trying to convince Travis to find out what we are having, I am scheduled to go next week and he’s being stubborn but I’m still trying to win this one. I am going to pull a Grey’s Anatomy and say I get three votes on this one – you fans will know what I’m talking about it!! Seriously, I have acid reflux round the clock, morning (all day long) sickness still not mention all the other horrid things that come with being pregnant --I’ve earned the right know “what” is causing me such discomfort and emotional distress!! Jackson understands that there is a baby in my belly and regularly has me open my mouth so he can look down my throat to see if the baby is “ready” yet!! He also believes that Jesus needs a spanking for putting the baby in my belly. He is a bit distressed about what we plan to do with Cooper once the new baby is “ready”. I’m not sure why he thinks we must do away with Cooper in order to have another baby. My guess is he’s wondering where the heck we are going to put another person and all the crap that comes along with them. (let’s be serious aren’t we all wondering) so the only option in his mind is someone must go and that must be Cooper since he’s the newbie of the clan. Cooper doesn’t really understand what is happening and it is best that he just be surprised because any warning that he will no longer be the littlest/newest member for whom all of our worlds stop might cause severe trauma that I am not equipped to handle just yet. He is a momma’s baby and it is going to be U-G-L-Y!! That’s all for now!!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

11 Lessons to Learn for Those Thinking of Having Children


Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive) Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.2
. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side
.3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.